hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
