I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
