i just google imaged poop.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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