Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
