Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
