thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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