What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I would fuck him just for his dog
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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