i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
