I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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