When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
