So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
