how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
