You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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