So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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