jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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