No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
