that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
