I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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