I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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