We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
