come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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