If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
