you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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