If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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