You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
