so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
