dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
