First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
