Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
