I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
