Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
