He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
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