I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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