@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
