She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
sex in a hospital.. check
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
