Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
