i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
