I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i love accidental penises.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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