last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
