so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
