I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
