Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
