i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
