Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
