I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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