Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
