I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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