After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
