I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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