I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
is wine microwaveable?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize