Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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