don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize