We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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