i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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