Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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