It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
