I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
