I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
