Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
