I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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