ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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