Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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