No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
