I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
