I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
How external is "for external use only"?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
