How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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