Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
